Raising a smile for your Monday morning!

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We are so used to having our heads full of things at the beginning of the week but what is the most important thing to achieve this week?  Giving your mind a quiet rest might be more fruitful than you think!

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Examining our shadows

Carl Jung, Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst had a wonderful way of describing the darker side of our consciousness, the things we don’t want to face or project onto others.   Recently I have tried to talk to people about why things might not be all about the ‘other’ people in the story.  What part do they play in their story?  This quote is helpful:

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Listening with all your senses

Sometimes people I am seeing have complex emotions about what they are dealing with. They don’t always reveal what these are with words.  So in coaching we can help reflect back what they are expressing as well as saying.  For instance:

  • Tell me how I should interpret your silence
  • It seems that what I just said made you think about something – can you share that?
  • I notice you looking down when talking about … as if you were uncomfortable with that thought – am I right?  (Be prepared to get it wrong  – you are just observing what you see)
  • I heard you sigh when you talked about your workload – I sense that you are feeling a burden – am I right?

Noticing body language as well as words will bring greater understanding and interpretation of what the person is saying to you beyond words.

Try being brave, when you observe someone who is telling you more with their body than their words- reflect it back and find out what that means for them.

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Compassion

I am seeing a few people at the moment who need to be more compassionate to themselves.  Ruby Wax in her ‘How To Be Human: The Manual’ https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/112795209141?chn=ps&adgroupid=50160776065&rlsatarget=pla-399656826200&abcId=1130076&adtype=pla&merchantid=114894538&poi=&googleloc=9045612&device=c&campaignid=1030310383&crdt=0 puts one of her tips rather beautifully, so I am shamelessly repeating it here for you to take note!

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Changing your narrative

The power of language is something that fascinates me and particularly since coaching – where one small word can change a whole discussion.  In a previous post I talked about swapping the “why” question with “I wonder” – being curious can elicit a different response when someone is under pressure, around performance for instance.

I admire Simon Sinek who is famous as a business guru in the US and had a very successful book (ironically called “Start with Why”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire-Everyone/dp/0241958229/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527514069&sr=8-1&keywords=start+with+why+simon+sinek) – the video below (which is only 3 mins long) talks about adding a short word or two to change the how you see yourself and your direction or successes – worth a look!

Try adding the word “yet” when you haven’t reached your ultimate aim this week.

Squeezing everything into a day – time vs commitments

I often see people who are struggling to fit all their tasks into their working week.  We go through ways of prioritising, using templates, IT tools, mindfulness to make things more manageable.  But what if you just have too many tasks to complete in the time allocated?

I was interested to read Oliver Burkeman – Body & Mind in the Guardian magazine at the weekend, “What if you really don’t have enough time to do everything?”.  In it he wondered whether in fact we are expected to do more than is physically possible in our working days and it certainly made me think.  He suggested that maybe we need to “sacrifice – figuring out what you’re willing to abandon or fail at, in order to do what matters even more.  Because one thing’s for certain: you’re not making that jam jar any bigger.”

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